my balls wait for it to vibrate

My name is Thomas Fucaloro.  I am 35.  I live in the suburb of Staten Island.  I am a Capricorn.  I just got a cell phone.  They are very odd little instruments of communication.  For some reason I don't like being able to communicate with someone all the time.  It's the things left unsaid that I cherish most.  So far the only thing a cell phone has taught me is that other people are late a lot.  You see when I didn't have a cell phone and I had to meet someone somewhere they knew because I not having one meant they were never late.  Now with the cell phone in place I get constant text messages about having to be late because of crotch itch or whatever lame excuse is being offered up for sacrifice that day.  So I am official plugged in and part of the problem.  I smile.  The cell phone just stares back at me.  I put it in my pocket.  My balls wait for it to vibrate.